There once lived a boy called Augustus Fred,
Who wouldn’t get up and just lay in his bed,
He slept all day and slept all night,
A disgrace to his father, to his mother a blight.
One day they decided to open his curtains,
The sun would surely him out for a Burton,
But Augustus had nailed them tightly shut tight,
So the light in his room was always night.
So they opened the door and wheeled out his bed,
And though he lay dormant as if he was dead,
They pushed his bed to the sun so bright,
Said, look my son, this is daylight.
But he just went all a-quiver and turned to ash,
And Mum said, Blimey, we’ve settled his hash!