Edgar Allen Poe in Suburbia

The fucking dog barked all day and all night, and the kid just kept shouting at it. “Pluto, hey, Pluto!” like he was Mickey fucking Mouse or something.

I tried throwing things, I tried bribery, I even tried violence, but nothing worked. Damn kid and damn dog just yapped all god-damned night and day.

Eventually, I took matters into my own hands. I dug a huge pit in the yard and I threw the dog into it, and, when the kid yelled at me, I threw him in too.

Then I filled it in and concreted over the top of it. Peace at last. Or that’s what I thought.

The damn dog just kept on barking under the ground and I could hear the kid still ineffectually yelling at him. All night and day. Echoing in my head. Round and round.

Could I cling on to whatever shards of reason I still possessed? Was I mad?

There was only one thing left for me to do to preserve my sanity.

Move.

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Filed under black humor, black humour, Cautionary tale, flash fiction, Halloween, humor, humour, literary parody, whimsy

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