This one’s for everyone out there trying to snare audiences for their Fringe shows in Edinburgh
I went out to the Royal Mile to distribute some flyers,
I didn’t need a license, “O” Levels, even Highers,
I just took my neck of shiny brass, and my resolve of tempered steel,
And asked the people that I met to share my showman’s zeal.
Oh, come and see my little show, I begged, cajoled, I pleaded,
I have the script, I have the hall, an audience is what’s needed,
But they looked at me and laughed aloud, begone, they said to me,
We want to go see famous men, we have no time for thee.
And so I felt another scheme I surely should anoint,
And now I bring my audience in in handcuffs at gunpoint.