Oh me name is Aloysius Motorola Fred McSkitter,
And I wears me dirty raincoat when I’m twanking off on Twitter,
I send my Tweets to blondie girls to read on their i-Phone,
And all the while I’m sitting here a-polishing my bone.
I’m the scourge of cyber dating, an instrument of scorn,
You call it social network, I call it network porn,
So lock up all your daughters, here comes the Twitter Twanker,
And I do it all from RBS where I’m a merchant banker.