I saw a shady figure in the darkling April gloom,
I said, identify yourself, you phantom of the tomb,
He flicked a large and floppy ear, he winked his gimlet eye,
I am the Easter Bunny, boss, he said with heartfelt sigh.
St Valentine has his bleeding hearts and Santa Claus has toys,
But all I’ve got’s this eggy load to take to girls and boys,
I don’t know if they’re bad or good, I gift them indiscriminate,
I just have multi-coloured eggs to hand out quite itinerant.
But I care not for these Smarties eggs, these Buttons and this Yorkie,
And I hate the sight of chocolate chicks and sugar pigs quite porky,
For I’m here to spread the message, of what Easter means to you,
It is a time of DIY and stuff from B and Q,
So throw down your chocolate lambkins and mini eggs so small,
Respect the Easter weekend, and go decorate your hall.