I watch out every morning for the postman at my gate,
Who’ll bring my invitation for the marriage of Wills and Kate,
I’ve never met the royals, but I’m told they’ll invite me,
Since I’ve bought a Royal Wedding mug to drink my morning tea.
The shopman, he assured me, that my invite’s in the bag,
For Will’s sending invitations to all purchasers of swag,
So I’ve bought three wedding tee-shirts and four gaudy wedding cups,
So I can bring my Aunty and her dog and all its pups.
My shelves already sag some from the stuff from Chaz and Di,
I bought the entire gambit, though the price it was quite high,
But I received no invitation from that respected royal host,
Though the shopman, he assured me that they’d just lost it in the post.