Teen Vampires

I met a guy in makeup in the brightness of the sun,
I said, you’ll be a vampire, then, by name of Pattinson,
He sighed and shrugged his pallid face, alas, my friend, it’s true,
I am the Teenage Vampire, but my name is Bob to you.

I have no cape or coffin, it really makes me sick,
And although I have two gleaming fangs I haven’t got a dick,
They’ve made me PG-rated, it’s a fate quite worse than death,
I just glamour girls with melting looks, it is a waste of breath.

The camera it does love me, it follows like a pup,
While I drink my bottled blood mix, like cocoa from a cup,
So please review my contract and release me from this Hell,
The money’s good but, really, it is career death knell.



Filed under bawdy verse, black humor, black humour, comic verse, Film, funny poem, humor, humorous verse, humour, Love Poem, whimsy

2 responses to “Teen Vampires

  1. cody shadow

    ok i dont want to crash your party but has anyone here talked with a real vampire

  2. cody shadow

    cause i am one and you human bastards have got stories and history on us all wrong for example how would you like being called creatures just because we are powerful doesnt mean you can cast us aside and try to kill us all you are nothing but meaningless food ten of you cant compare to one of us so stop this bullshit history of yours i would tell you the correct history but im sorry ive run out of time its time to go and sleep in my bed not coffin dumbasses

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