How to Succeed in Publishing

If I had the urge to write,
And was brazen, not contrite,
Then I’d rather be a killer than a writer,
For I’d sooner get a deal,
And a flashy rest’rant meal,
If I’d killed my bairnies three with bloody mitre.

I’d be a cause célèbre,
Not some ordinary pleb,
And I wouldn’t write my story in my attic,
For they’d send to me a ghost,
He’d be humble, never boast,
And I’d have my million seller, automatic.

So don’t labour with that pen,
In your humble poet’s den,
There’s a quicker route to cash and fame and glory,
Just kill your cheating wife,
And extinguish out her life,
And then watch the offers flow in for your story.



Filed under black humor, black humour, Cautionary tale, comic verse, funny poem, humor, humorous verse, humour, Nonsense verse, whimsy

2 responses to “How to Succeed in Publishing

  1. The Compulsive Writer

    I loved this!

  2. Delightful and inspiring. I’m off to get that nuisance neighbour with a machete right away!

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