This is the story of Antonia Sword,
Who ruled the roost on a message board,
In life she worked at the kipper factory,
But on the net she was most refractory.
Antonia’s tits were at her knees,
They were ninety-six double Ds,
Her arse as wide as a Dutch barn door,
And when she walked it dragged on the floor.
Her nose was long, her ears were big,
She belched like a mule and stank like a pig,
But on her board she was a god,
Even if she came across slightly odd.
So spare a thought for the people behind,
The cyber curtains of their daily grind,
Take with a pinch of salt what spouts from their gizzards,
‘Cause, remember, in life, there are no wizards.