I woke up this merry morning, just past the crack of dawn,
The alarm clock said, it’s ten to ten, so stifle-up that yawn,
I said, it’s dark and dreary, just like the dead of night,
The clock it said, they’ve changed me, so get up, you little shite.
I poured myself a cup of tea, the time said half-past-eight,
But it was nearly half-past-three by the time I reached my gate,
I said, look here, alarm clock, I’ve only been ten mins,
It said, I’ve changed, you pillock, now go and get the bins,
But it’s Sunday it’s not bin day, I said, quite half deranged,
Wake up, said the alarm clock, I’ve said before, I’ve changed,
So I took him by his brass bell and flung him in the Dee,
And there was no change in current as it swept him out to sea.