Oh, my name is Alvin Gator,
I’m a union-bound web hater,
And I’m comin’ out to comment on your blog,
I’m gonna slam your You Tube movie,
Say your novel is not groovy,
And your wonder pin-up girlfriend is a dog.
I will mock the latest news,
Give out bad, so bad, reviews,
And hit the hater’s button all the day,
I will thumbs-down on your Facebook,
One-star your Am’zon race book,
And slam your i-Tunes soundtracks all the way.
For I am the bad web hater,
A fat and spotty masturbator,
And behind my avatar I am the best,
I’m just a ball of spite and loathing,
A puss in lion’s clothing,
Just a bitchy, paper-tiger cyber pest.