We are the boys from your film mag, we are real super-wankers,
And all our cum over Batman stuff can fill up petrol tankers,
We all love poor Heath Ledger, because the bugger’s dead,
But before he played the Joker we don’t know what he said.
We love our super heroes and all our non-stop action,
But we hate that Lindsay Lohan with high velocity traction,
We hate her big mascaraed eyes and her flowing long brown tresses,
Because we really want to wear the slapper’s pretty dresses.
So give us more Three Hundred and more violent video games,
And no more slushy movies that will appeal to dames,
Give us all the grisly stuff and let the blood-spill fountain,
And for times when no one’s watching please show us Brokeback Mountain.
For we’re big tough toxic geeky boys in bedrooms everywhere,
And we watch movies all the time but never wash our hair.