I went to the election at my local primary school,
It was a lowish key affair, it wasn’t very cool,
The candidates were absent, no stickers there or posters,
And just some jolly pensioners who were sat to count the voters.
They checked my eyes and fingerprints and sent me to a booth,
The said, vote there, my bonny lad, and please don’t be uncouth,
I scanned the ballot paper and found the SNP,
And put my little kiss on’t slip to my candidate from me.
And then it was all over, no time for bleak self-hating,
And I was back in’t playground after my political speed dating,
And like the end of Christmas, I said, well that is that,
Thank god it’s only twice a decade, it is a load of tat.