The Toaster’s Revenge

One day a lad called Sparky Bright,
Got up to eat on Friday night,
And put some bread into the toaster,
To eat with Kellogg’s oven roaster.

When suddenly the Toaster said,
“Put that up there and you are dead!”
And Sparky stared in disbelief,
While Toaster yelled without relief:

“How’d you like it, Wit-Fuck Dumb,
If I shoved two slices up your bum,
Then slammed your nose down to the floor,
And sprung my bread from your front door?”

But Sparky was a cheeky tyke,
He told the Toaster: “On yer bike,
I need that toast for my spaghetti,
To feed me Mam and Aunty Betty,

So less of all this Toaster-speak,
Shut yer gob, no other peep!”
And put his bread on for to roast,
And that is how he burnt the toast.


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Filed under Cautionary tale, comic verse, funny poem, humorous verse, Nonsense verse, whimsy

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