Sultry Adultery

Peter Peter Pumpkin-eater,
Had a wife but was cheater,
Fucked the nanny, fucked the teacher,
Even fucked the Baptist preacher.

Had elicit sex on Mondays,
Had it kinky twice on Sundays,
Did it at the Pumpkin Bar,
Did it with a Petrie Jar.

Paid some school girls and a nun.
Paid some whores to have some fun,
Did it on the internet,
Did it with a horsey vet.

In the cowshed, in the byre,
With a fiddle and a lyre,
In the barn and in his car,
Sometimes lousy, sometimes par.

Did it with a hockey team,
On a bar and on a beam,
Did it hanging from a hook,
A trick he picked up from a book.

Fucked all Angus and all Fife,
Even did it with his wife.

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Filed under black humor, black humour, Cautionary tale, comic verse, funny poem, humorous verse, literary parody, Nonsense verse, parody, whimsy

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