There lived a boy in Pleasant Town called Jonathan Really-Nice,
Whose manners were impeccable, he hadn’t a single vice.
He opened the door for ladies and always said thank you and please,
And he kept his trousers immaculately pressed with no creases around the knees.
One day he was out with his mother when a puddle they happened to spy,
“Oh let me put my blazer down, Mama, so your tootsies will always be dry!”
So his mother went over the puddle and went down well over her waist,
And got mud all over her costume, which wasn’t in very good taste.
And the townspeople flocked over to goggle and point fingers incredibly righteous,
“Why Jonathon’s played a joke on his Mater, now isn’t that totally frighteous”
And the dunces all sang like a chorus, “Well you’re not quite so wonderful now,”
And Davis the maid, dismissed for stealing, said, “I’m sure she deserved it, the cow.”
But Jonathon cried to the heavens, “This wasn’t the actions of malice,
I’m still the same little toady who was trained by my grandmother, Alice,”
But everyone laughed like they meant it, said, “Well isn’t he a dark horse,
Those manners were just an illusion, but we knew all about it, of course!”