Wayne and Tracy had a kid, they called him Darren-Joe,
But then there was a falling out ‘tween Tracy and her beau,
So she took up with Jason Jones, and they had a little sprog
Which they called Chantelle-Rebel, after their Alsatian dog.
But the boys in blue took Jason and threw him in the clink,
So Tracy went and hookéd-up with Minky Joe the Chink.
They had a little half-breed kid that they called Marcus-Wang,
Then Minky Joe met an old foe and it ended with a bang.
So Tracy went and texted Wayne, yes, him that’s in line one,
And had a super one-night-stand and gained an oven bun,
And thus she went to Benedorm where she met a con called Barry,
Who said that she could be a star if him our girl would marry.
Our Tracy went to Asda George and ordered up a suit,
It was to be her wedding gear till Baz gave her the boot,
And so she it wore it to the wake of her mother, Gin Jolene,
Until the bloody cops arrived and spoiled their dealing scene.
They took poor Tracy off to jail before she’d had her cake,
But at least she got her story in Reality and Take A Break.