You are young, Brother William, the old man said,
And your swagger is polished and clean,
Your arrogance floats loudly above your head,
And your snottiness is just plain mean.
You start every day with your bluebottle tie,
And the suit that you bought down at Next,
Your socks are unmatching, the colour of rye,
And your countenance extremely quite vexed.
You buy coffee from Starbucks in plasticine cups,
Your briefcase is pure M and S,
You haven’t seen your dog, you think she has pups,
And she thinks that her name might be Bess.
Oh call on your cell phone and send me a text,
Email or send me a fax,
You are young, Brother William, the old man smiled,
But you’ll fit right in with the hacks.