I laid him out upon my palm,
I was quite cool, completely calm,
He flipped his tail, he flicked his fin,
And said my life was in the bin.
There was no money, was no love,
And from my job I’d get the shove,
A millionaire would wed my ex,
My doctor place a ban on sex.
My dog would leave, my cat would run,
The lottery I’d miss by one,
A lucky horseshoe hit my head,
And though I’d spend a week in bed,
The insurance firm would refuse to pay,
And sell my chattels on eBay,
My landlord would demand arrears,
And I’d catch a lurgy of the ears.
A mole would crap on my front lawn
And my water pipes would burst at dawn.
So I think I’ll make a little wish
To never buy a Fortune fish.