A long time ago, in the land of Old Porn,
This is well before your time, dear, before you were born,
There lived three fine young ladies, called Molly, Poll and Dolly,
Who shed all their garments to make them some lolly.
Now Molly she was ginger, and Polly a blonde,
And Dolly was as dark as the old village pond,
And they sported fine barnets, deep down in their pants,
That men had ne’er seen from John o’Groats to Hants!
One kept a Tony, the other a Marcel,
While Dolly had her’s done at a place in Motherwell,
They used bottles of Brylcreme and scented pomade,
(They liked to look good on the days they got laid!)
And they live on in legend, where rum drinkers binge,
For Harrison Marks and the days of pure minge,
And to honour their memory, we ask that a tax,
Be levied on razors and Immac and wax.