Dead Authors

All publishers love dead authors, they’re very free and easy,
They don’t throw temper tantrums, to make their editors queasy,
You don’t have to pay them royalties or take them out to dinner,
And they don’t need author photographs, they don’t get fat or thinner.

So if you are aspiring, to be a man of letters,
There is a way to court them all, don’t stay down in your fetters,
Just write a trendy novel, that speaks of you or I,
Then post it to a publisher, while you discreetly die.



Filed under comic verse, humorous verse, whimsy

6 responses to “Dead Authors

  1. How about I publish – claiming to be my dead father, and then rake in the money as his only beneficiary? Could it be that simple?

  2. Laurie

    “Discreetly”. And “of you or me”.

    Pedantry apart, though, nice poem! You have a talent for this.

    • Hi Laurie – thanks for pointing out the typo on “discreetly” – certain spellings like “principle” or “principal” have always been personal ‘bete noires‘ – used to drive my English teacher mad. However, changing “of you or I” to “of you and me” would rather bugger-up the rhyme scheme, don’t you think?!

  3. Laurie

    “would rather bugger-up the rhyme scheme”

    Not if you wrote “me/die” in Scots!

  4. Nice one! I could always rename the poem Canongate Dead Authors!

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