All publishers love dead authors, they’re very free and easy,
They don’t throw temper tantrums, to make their editors queasy,
You don’t have to pay them royalties or take them out to dinner,
And they don’t need author photographs, they don’t get fat or thinner.
So if you are aspiring, to be a man of letters,
There is a way to court them all, don’t stay down in your fetters,
Just write a trendy novel, that speaks of you or I,
Then post it to a publisher, while you discreetly die.